Miles in the snow

I finally had the morning to myself, and I admit that it was a relief. Mr. Vu picked me up at 2pm and took me to his parents' house. I had been hoping to meet his wife and sons but apparently they were at her grandparents' house. I found myself in the midst of the Ben Tre I'd always imagined but never really seen. One left turn and then a right took me into the midst of rice paddies and coconut palms. Obviously I've seen both of these things while here, but I never knew just how close they were to campus. The ride earned me the self-granted distinction of riding about 40km, round trip, sidesaddle. On the way, Mr. Vu stopped to buy me a face mask. Consider me one step closer to being a local -- or at least one cover-up closer into blending in with them.

When we got to his house we spent the first hour or so just chatting over coconut water and fruit. Through a series of conversational tangents I ended up talking to Mr. Vu about the slang usage of the words 'cougar' and 'gold digger.' He responded in kind by telling me about relationships between teachers and students. I tried to wrap my head around the news that several male English teachers at the college have married former students, and a few of the female teachers are married to their former teachers. It was hard to keep judgment out it. We talked about many other things, however. Mr. Vu is one of my favorite teachers (though I don't actually work with him), mostly because I feel comfortable around him. He told me that he had been invited to attend a TESOL conference in Bangkok and one in Philadelphia. Unfortunately, the one in Bangkok is in about four days, so he won't be going to that. Unfortunately again, it is not likely that he'll be able to attend the one in Philadelphia, either, because it's really hard to get permission to leave. All the hoops I have to jump through around here? They're about five times worse for citizens. For some reason, the school officials are more likely to not permit their educators to leave the country for professional development than they are likely to allow it. Why? This frustrates me. Not only are they depriving their employees of opportunity, they are depriving their students of the benefits they could access by having professors with these kinds of experiences. But, even if he does get permission, the invitation is just an invitation, and he'd have to foot the hefty bill of airfare and lodging.

Mr. Vu spent a lot of time telling me about how different things were, not too many years ago. He said that nobody in his area had any vehicles until about 20 years ago. He still remembers the first time he and everyone in his neighborhood first saw a motorbike. They thought it was so strange. When he was a kid, bicycles were too expensive. He walked to school every day, and luckily it was only about 1km away. But then, when he had to go to secondary school, it was 7km away. Many of his classmates had to stop going to school, but he loved learning. He woke up at 3am every day to be able to make it to school in time. This sounds like the archetypal old man's story of walking to school uphill two miles in the snow, both ways, but it's almost nine miles round trip in the Mekong heat. Talk about commitment. Talk about the rest of us taking things for granted.

We were joined by three of his past students who were in the first graduating class that he taught, so they are almost his age. A little later one of my students, who is also Mr. Vu's cousin, came over too. Based on the last few days I had expected to have a huge meal with Mr. Vu's extended family, but I only met them when I arrived (and several of them said that I look like one of Mr. Vu's cousins), and I had dinner outside with Mr. Vu and the other guests. It was a very laid back meal, not to say that it was not abundant. We barely made a dent in the spread before us. I kind of got the impression that we were all eating out of politeness because everyone is perpetually stuffed during Tet. During the meal I mostly talked to my student. It was nice to just chat with her one-on-one. The evening lasted just the right length, and before we left I received my first ever envelope of lucky money. I thought I was too old for such a gift, but I'm not complaining.

Mr. Vu and I